“WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!?!?”
This game is weird in a great way. The basic premise is that you are Gaia’s chosen specimen fated to usher in the dawn of future civilizations…a lot of pressure to put on the shoulders (or dorsal fin) of any small creature. Thankfully, you can evolve in the blink of in eye into whatever nightmarish hell-monster you want! Feel like making a fish that has horns bigger than its face? Sure! Feel like making a comically small flying t-rex? Sure! Feel like making a bunny rabbit with the face/jaws of a cat that eventually evolves into early man?!? SURE, go for it!!
But seriously, when you break this game down to its core, it is a game about grinding. You need to grind to get EVO points so you can evolve and have better stats for the later enemies you will encounter. Granted, this grinding is wrapped up in a fun package with bit-sized levels (they may only take you 2-3 minutes to get through each). But, when you realize that you need to get those t-rex mandibles to stand a chance, you’re gonna need to stretch that 2-3 minute playtime into about 15-20 minutes depending on how efficiently you can grind out those 5000 EVO points when some enemies only net you 100 EVO per kill. Have fun!
The game makes up for this shortcoming by allowing you to literally make dozens of combinations of Cronenberg-esque disasterpieces. Or you can be like me and focus on only upgrading your Jaw to the max & leaving the rest of your stats to be upgraded whenever. I say that because the most important aspect of this game is learning how to lock your enemies in place. Once you get certain enemies in a specific position on the level, you can feasibly lock them into never moving or attacking because they continually reel back from your attacks…unless they can fly (stupid flying coelacanth…)
Let me put it this way, if you enjoyed the first half of Spore, then you’ll enjoy this game.